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10 Things You Must Remember When Rejected

I’ve been reading a great book by Lysa TerKeurst called ‘Uninvited: Living Loved when you feel Less Than, Left Out and Lonely’.

In one chapter she lists 10 things you must remember when rejected, which I’ve summarised/paraphrased below:

1) One rejection is not a projection of future failures.

It’s good to acknowledge the hurt, but don’t see it as a permanent hindrance. Move on from the source of the rejection, and don’t let it shut you down in that arena of your life. It has already stolen enough from your present. Don’t let it reach into your future.

2) Rejection doesn’t label you; it enables you to adjust and move on.

This rejection doesn’t mean I’m ____. It makes ____ a wrong fit for me right now. Instead of letting the feelings from this situation label me, I’m going to focus on God and His promises for good things.

3) This could be an invitation to live in expectation of something else.

“The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. (Lamentations 3:24-26).

4) There is usually some element of protection wrapped in every rejection.

The Lord knew what he was doing when he allowed this rejection. This is a hard one to process at the time of the rejection, but for many of my past rejections, I can look back and see how God was allowing things to unfold the way they did for my protection.

5) It’s good to ask the “what” questions but less helpful to ask “why”.

Questions I’ve found helpful:

  • What is one good thing I’ve learned from this?
  • What was a downside to this situation that I can be thankful is no longer my burden to carry?
  • What were the unrealistic expectations I had, and how can I better manage these next time?
  • What do I need to do to boost my courage to pursue future opportunities?
  • What is one positive change I could make in my attitude about the future?
  • What are some lingering negative feelings about this situation that I need to pray through and shake off to be better prepared and move forward?
  • What is one thing God has been asking me to do today to make tomorrow easier?

6) Don’t hash, bash, or trash on the internet. Remember, the internet never forgets.

Wisdom makes decisions today that will still be good for tomorrow. Don’t let today’s reaction become tomorrow’s regret.

7) There’s much more to you than the part that was rejected.

One of the hardest parts of rejection is the time gap it suddenly introduces into your life. Chances are you’re used to a routine that included set-aside time for the person or opportunity that rejection has taken from you. Now that the pursuit has ended, it’s so easy to feel completely lost.

You are more than that. You are more than you know and your current emotions and situation. So much more. “The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.” (Psalm 37:23-24).

8) What one person sees as your liability, another might see as a wonderful asset.

“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” (Luke 6:27-28 NASB).

9) This is a short-term setback, not a permanent condition.

The emotions that feel so intense today will ease up over time as long as we let them. We just have to watch how we think and talk about this rejection. If we give it the power to define us, it will haunt us long-term. But if we only allow it enough power to refine us, the hurt will give way to healing.

10) Don’t let this heartbreak destroy you. Let this breaking actually be the making of you. Let God use it in good ways to make you stronger and take you further.

God wants so much more from us. He didn’t build us up to simply have a life that would make us happy. He brought us up to be part of his purpose. Our own strength would not have prepared us for kingdom assignments, it would have crippled us. The breaking of us has actually been the making of us. The God-strengthened version of us that he can and will use.


I found this list quite helpful and encouraging. If you’d like to read the book with me (I’m halfway!), get a copy here.

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18).